Today's Love Tip
"Forgive and forget" goes the old saying. But when you've been wronged, forgiving the person who hurt you is easier said than done. And it may even seem ludicrous to even consider allowing someone to "get away with" whatever transgression... Read More
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After Infidelity: Make up or Break up

Relevance Info Services, an international publisher of quality information, approached me as an expert in relationship issues with the question if I could evaluate a number of websites that offer methods and tips for saving relationships and prevent a divorce. The fact is that, with respect for all the well meant kind of information, there are many offerings on the internet that are not based upon psychological principals. A lot of the presented materials cause more harm than any good. It is not composed by experts and that's certainly not what you want. If you are in serious trouble the situation demands a professional approach by people that are very experienced in solving relationship issues.{relatedarticles}

This article is about what to do after infidelity.

Iinfidelity is a betrayal, a loss of trust. It is lying or disloyalty to one's partner or lover. Infidelity may be sexual or emotional in nature and typically involves a third person. Infidelity does not necessarily involve physical separation, but can be characterized by emotional detachment as well. Emotional detachment can happen when you lose your partner's trust or if you lie to your partner or tell them half-truths. Betraying your partner may inflict a deep pain that is difficult to repair and sometimes causes irrevocable damage to the relationship that hastens its end. There are many things that can occur in the wake of infidelity. If you are married, infidelity could lead to divorce. If you are in a committed relationship, it could lead to a break up.


So what happens after infidelity occurs in your relationship?

There are distinct stages a relationship goes through in the wake of infidelity.

1. Roller Coaster Stage. This is the stage where strong emotions arise - emotions such as anger and self-blame followed by a period of introspection and appreciation of the relationship. Just like it says, your emotions go for a roller coaster ride, up and down, round and round and it's a bit hard to figure out exactly where you are.{relatedarticles}

2. Moratorium Stage. This stage is a less emotional stage, at least for the person who was cheated upon. In this stage, the person affected tries to make sense of the betrayal. They may ask for more detail about the affair or retreat into themselves or quietly seek help from others regarding the issue.

3. Trust Building Stage. This stage takes place when the couple has decided to stay together. During this stage, the couple really tries to make their marriage work. They decide that a continued commitment to their relationship is important and with time, eventually forgiveness and trust can be achieved.

After an infidelity occurs, you may still find yourself often doubting your partner. Don't lose heart, there is hope. Here are some signs that may indicate if a person is still worthy of your love.


- Expresses sincere remorse and regret for cheating on you

- Heartfelt apologies feel true when you hear them

- Accepts total blame for his or her betrayal

- Cuts off all contact with the third party

- Shows a renewed appreciation, admiration, respect and devotion to only you{relatedarticles}

- Displays a willingness and openness to talk about what happened

- Is willing and eager to go into marriage counseling with you

If both of you are willing to participate in a deep, open, and honest conversation regarding your relationship and how you would like it to progress, there is a good chance you will be able to work through your issues.

If, on the other hand, your partner is not open to discussing these things with you and not demonstrating any of the possible reconcilement signs listed above, it may be time to cut your losses and get out. Additional signs that it might be time to end the relationship are: your partner seems to be more agitated than usual and seems to emotionally and physically withdraw from you.


They may go out alone more often and may be making clandestine phone calls or working late hours. You might even receive anonymous phone calls at the house. If several of these things are occurring, then most probably your partner is cheating on you. If you can find concrete evidence of this infidelity, then it's probably a good idea to break up. A relationship that is based on lies, lacks trust and lack of commitment is doomed to fail.{relatedarticles}

After an infidelity occurs, be aware of any signs that may indicate your partner's willingness to stay and work it out or clear intention to follow along the path of continued betrayal. Just be careful and pay attention. Make the best decision for you.

About The Author

I would be pleased to guide you in the process after infidelityor go to http://stop-a-divorce-info.com.

This article was written by expert author Ruth Martin for Relevance Info Services

The author invites you to visit: http://stop-a-divorce-info.com
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5 Dating Rules That You Should Not Break If You Want To Succeed at Dating

Love is not predictable, so why should dating have rules? Well, the reason for this is that when women follow their hearts and not their heads during dating, the way that they act around men is not always in their own best interests. You can't expect to treat a man like you would treat a girlfriend if you want to make him crazy about you. Whether or not you agree, here are 5 dating rules that you must not break if you want to succeed at dating:

Rule #1 - Don't get Attached Too Quickly

He's gorgeous and cute on the surface, but take your time and get to know the real person before you allow yourself to attach to him. This will save you a lot of heartbreak and disappointment when you find out he's not the man you thought he was or he was never really looking for a relationship. If you take some time to find out who he is first, you can eliminate the bad ones quickly and find yourself a top quality man.{relatedarticles}

Rule #2 - Don't Pressure or Chase

OK, so this one seems unfair. Why should we have to sit back and wait while we let the man do the chasing? The reason is that chasing a man generally does not work in the long-term. A man will generally resist any pressure that you put on him and you could find yourself in a battle.


Generally, pursuit is in the genes of a man. If you make it easy for him, he will not find you half as interesting as if you present a challenge. He might be flattered at first, but he will lose interest quickly. Don't believe me? Next time you are dating, try holding back just a little bit and see how much it sparks his interest.

Rule #3 - Don't Expect Too Much Too Soon

Don't think that you are in a relationship just because you've had a few dates or he seems really into you. If you want to succeed at dating, you must take it slowly and be patient. When you start to display premature expectations of a relationship, everything changes and he starts to feel pressurised. Make sure you stay cool if you want to get that guy.{relatedarticles}

Rule #4 - Don't Reveal Too Much Too Soon

We women are fairly open creatures and we like to be honest. When we feel close to someone it is easy for us to open up and spill everything out about what has gone wrong in our lives and relationships. When you first meet a man, resist the urge to tell him anything that he might interpret negatively. It is easy to put a man off with tales of past boyfriends or premature confessions, so be on your guard and save these for when your relationship is stronger.


Rule #5 - Don't Sleep With Him Straight Away

OK, so you don't like this one either, but it's a fact. When you sleep with a man, you will start to become attached to him, even before you have established that he is a suitable partner. Now that you are attached to him, you will have expectations of a relationship. You have presented yourself as easy prey and the challenge is over for him before it begins. You have already broken most of these dating rules. Yes, he will happily sleep with you, although now he is more likely to see you as someone to have sex with rather than someone to have a relationship with.{relatedarticles}

When you hold back and see yourself and your body as too valuable to just give away to someone you barely know, he will see you as valuable too. He will be intrigued and want you more. You will be laying the foundations for long-term attraction and a relationship. When you don't give into your urges to break these rules, you will be able succeed at dating.

About The Author

When you learn how dating works for a man, you give yourself an incredible advantage. You will understand why he behaves the way he does and what you can do to draw him closer rather than push him away. Sign up now at http://www.ensuremydatingsuccess.info to learn secrets that will help you meet and keep your dream man. Or visit http://www.datingtorelationshipadvice.com/DatingRelationshipTipsHelp/EarlyRelationshipAdvice.html for advice on how to succeed at dating.
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Strip Club Etiquette: Learn the Ropes

You might think that just because you are entering a strip club that you can act the way you want. Sure, it is a place where the rules are a little more relaxed, but that does not mean that you can behave inappropriately or act outrageous. Here are some dos and don'ts when it comes to the world of strip clubs.

Do: Dress Appropriately

Sure, some venues let guests walk in with T-shirts and cutoff shorts. But if you are going with friends for a night on the town, then you want to wear something that is both comfortable and that you can sit down in. You will be taking in the sights, so you want to do so comfortably. Plus, you do not want to stick out in this crowd. People are here to see the strippers, not you, so try not to draw too much attention to yourself - either by the way that you dress or by the way that you act.{relatedarticles}

Don't: Be Loud and Obnoxious

There is one in every crowd, but do your best to avoid being that guy or girl. Even if you feel like you have had a bit too much to drink, rein it in as much as possible. You might think of it as a strip club, but it is a business - and it is a business that relies on repeat business from its clientele. Act professionally (considering the circumstances), and you will be asked to return again.

Do: Be Nice to the Bouncer

There is almost always someone at the door who either is taking cover charges or working to ensure that there are no brawls or unsightly guests making their way inside. Be nice to this person. He could be your ticket to better seats and better experiences. You might even want to consider tipping him so that you have an ally. Chances are that he can get you some pretty cool perks if you make nice with him.


Don't: Assume Anything

There are strip clubs that just offer chances for you to watch strippers, but there are clubs that allow much more. If you are unsure what type of services the strip club that you visit provides, then you will need to ask. Either check its Web site before you go or ask the bouncer or a manager once you are there. You do not want to be put in a situation where you thought you were getting more out of the experience than you actually can get. It can be embarrassing for all parties, and you might not be asked to return to the club.{relatedarticles}

Do: Ask What Everything Costs

In addition to making sure that you know what kinds of services you can get, you also want to know what everything costs. Again, most of this information can be found on the club's Web site, but if you do not get the chance to check beforehand, you should be able to talk to the manager or get a price list from someone at the club. This is particularly helpful if you are taking a friend out for a night of debauchery. You will want to know just how much you are paying for him to have an unforgettable experience.

Don't: Get Too Drunk

Yes, you want to have a great night and an unforgettable time - but the key word here is unforgettable. If you get too excited about your trip and drink just a little too much to relax, it could end up being way too much by the end of the night and you will have forgotten everything that happened. Plus, you may have caused a scene at the club, which no one wants. Instead, pace yourself so you can enjoy the night without having to ask your friends about it the next day.


Do: Get a Designated Driver

That being said, if you are going to drink, you should only have enough alcohol in your system to have a good time. Whether you are out with a few friends or a large group, you want to have a designated driver. Talk to someone at the club about the cab companies that they use frequently. Their recommendation can be helpful as the night wears on and you find that you cannot possibly get behind the wheel. You can always pick up your car the next day - sure, it is a walk of shame of sorts, but it is well worth it.{relatedarticles}

Don't: Try Any Funny Stuff with the Girls

This, of course, is unless you are at a club where this is welcomed. But for the most part, each service that is provided at these clubs costs money. If you simply walk in, sit down, watch a girl dance, and then try to touch her, you might risk getting kicked out. Look around the place to see what other guests are doing and how they are behaving. Fall in line with them, and you will be fine. Step out of line, and you could get into big trouble.

Do: Get to Know the Club's DJ

There are DJs at virtually all strip clubs, and they are the ones who are in charge of the music that is being played. You of course can make requests, but you also want to talk to the DJ to learn more about the place. Chances are good that he knows more than most people about the club and the types of services it provides - not to mention the overall atmosphere. He can be your best ally if you treat him right.


Don't: Skimp

These girls get paid for their work, and they get paid by people like you. Most of the women who work at these clubs rely entirely on tips. If you like what you see, then be generous. {relatedarticles}The days of dollar bills are being replaced by 10s and 20s. These women work hard for your enjoyment, so the least you can do is reward them for it.


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