Today's Love Tip
They're comedians' punchlines, the subject of country music songs and a giant pain in your butt - but they don't have to be. We're talking about your mate's parents - the in-laws. There's a stereotype that in-laws cannot and will not ever... Read More
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When it's OK to Reconcile with Your Ex

Is on-again, off-again the story of your life?

Plenty of couples break up to make up. It's an age-old dilemma that even the best of us face. As romantics, we're often compelled to rekindle that troubled romance and take another shot at love. But is it really okay to reconcile with your ex?

Only you can say for certain what is right or wrong for your situation, but our friendly advice and little nuggets of wisdom will hopefully provide some food for thought during this period of soul searching.

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What caused the breakup?

It's important to think back and try to be objective about what led to the split. Regardless of whether it was mutual and amicable, or if you were the dumper or the dumpee, there is almost always a reason behind the split. Far too often we tend to gloss over the negative and focus entirely on the positive in times like these; the heart wants what it wants, as they say.


Ask yourself the following questions and answer them honestly:
  • How would reconciling affect the nature of the relationship?
  • Would anything change?
  • What made you unhappy when you were together?
  • Who or what was at fault?
  • What was good about the relationship?
  • Did the breakup happen because of a single issue (for example, infidelity)?
  • Was it something trivial (he didn't call when he said he would)?
  • Was it a build-up of things that finally hit a boiling point? {relatedarticles}

When analyzing the pre-breakup relationship, it can be helpful to write down a pros and cons list. Be brutally honest with yourself. Small self-deceptions will only harm you in the long run so save yourself some heartache.


Actions Speak Louder than Words

Oftentimes, getting back together with an ex happens because we expect that person to have a major epiphany and change. Perhaps he has promised to curb his inconsiderate ways. The harsh truth is, we are who we are. Many a breakup has occurred throughout human history because we have tried to change the person with whom we're together. However, it's unlikely you'll ever witness the transformation you've been awaiting.

Idiosyncrasies included, you must accept the individual as he or she is. You can communicate your grievances, and he may even make genuine efforts to acquiesce to your demands in order to be with you. But saying you are going to do something is much different from actually living it. So be wary of promises. Take some time and observe the "change." If his actions revert back to the same old situation, you'll know that his words -- along with his promise -- were empty.

The Heart vs. The Mind

The epic internal dialogue, the subject of countless books and films, what's right: the heart or the head? The song doesn't lie: breaking up is hard to do. While your rational mind may be telling you that it's not worth the emotional rollercoaster ride, the heart wants to put a quick end to the heartache - it says, if it feels good do it.

Usually, the heart is victorious. When you break up all over again, the mind scoffs at the heart's weakness. These two entities don't have to be diametrically opposed. Sometimes they do sync. It's all about striking a balance, and experience dealing with both life forces will arm you with wisdom in the future.


Don't get stuck on the notion that he's "the one;" there are plenty of fish in the sea that are probably just right for you. Getting your heart broken a few times will force you to be more selective about who you let in, while allowing your mind to recognize the red flags as early warning signs not to continue in a bad relationship.

Even when we know it's wrong to get back with an ex, we do it anyway. Why? Sometimes we have to make our own mistakes in order to learn from them. As long as the relationship wasn't abusive in any way, it's okay to give yourself this permission. The point is to grow as a person, take what you can from the experience, and resolve not to walk the same path the next time.

The 5 Stages of Grief

The grieving process doesn't only apply to the death of a loved one. The 5 stages of grief can be used for breakups, too. Identifying where you stand with your grieving can shed some light on whether you're ready to take him back.

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  • Denial - You are in a state of shock. You are trying to avoid the pain of this loss by refusing to accept that the relationship is over.
  • Anger - Once the reality of it sets in, you feel like you have been treated unfairly and may lash out at him or others in your life.
  • Bargaining - You or your former partner might make promises to change - that whatever caused the breakup won't happen again.
  • Depression - The inner turmoil of the breakup, usually consisting of the inability to sleep, eat, or accomplish daily tasks.
  • Acceptance - Moving on with your life and accepting the circumstances of the breakup, even making peace with your role in it.

The Logistics of a Relationship

Some breakups happen because of practicalities. For instance, one person is relocated out of state because of work or school. Additionally, a good relationship can begin too young and a desire to sow one's wild oats and experience what else is out there may emerge.

If you choose to try again, give yourself a time frame. If things aren't working out again, vow to end them after a set amount of time. After all, you could be much happier in a new relationship with someone who is appreciative and actively building a future with you than trying to resuscitate a failed relationship. A relationship should make your life better, not worse.

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Poet Kahlil Gibran once said: "If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were." Sometimes we have to take our own roads in life, and if those paths have the chance to meet again, there's nothing wrong with picking up where you left off in your relationship.


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Relationship Lies that are OK to Tell

One out of three conversations between non-married couples contains a lie, according to psychologist Bella DePaulo, and one out of every 10 conversations between married couples contains a lie.

How many do you tell in your relationship?

Lying is something everyone does, and it's not always wrong. Serious lies that betray someone's trust are not OK, and no one should tell those. But white lies are perfectly OK in a relationship and can even be good for it.{relatedarticles}

White lies help save your partner from hurt feelings, preserve the integrity of the relationship and keep you sane, so you don't have to deal with every little situation that could potentially end in an argument.

So which relationship lies are OK to tell?


Relationship Lie #1: Sex is always amazing with you!

While it may not be as amazing as you are saying, it's important to tell him this so he can feel as though he has the power to make your toes curl. It will boost his self-confidence and actually improve your sex life. When someone believes they are competent in something, they will be, and that is how it ends up benefiting you.

Relationship Lie #2: I'll pay for dinner tonight. I don't mind.

Offering to pay for dinner sometimes, even though you believe he should treat you, tells him that you appreciate it when he does pay for you. And it's likely he'll pay for the dinner anyway because he wants to prove he can pay for it and take care of you.{relatedarticles}

Relationship Lie #3: I love this shirt you bought me!

Would it be better if you told him the shirt is ugly? No, it would be rude. You don't want to hurt his feelings and you don't want to seem ungrateful, so telling him you love it is an OK relationship lie to tell.


Relationship Lie #4: We're going to visit your parents this weekend? I can't wait!

When you come between him and his family, he may resent you. Don't ruin your relationship because of his family. Telling him you enjoy spending time with his family and just biting your tongue the whole time is a perfectly good lie to tell in a relationship.

Relationship Lie #5: My parents love you!

So maybe your dad thinks he's a loser, and your mom thinks he's unattractive, but you couldn't tell your partner that. Instead, you tell him a lie so a civil war doesn't break out between him and your parents.{relatedarticles}

Relationship Lie #6: I agree with you completely.

When you disagree with him, it often turns into an argument, right? Some days you just don't have the strength or it's just not worth your time. By agreeing with him, you save yourself from having to explain why you feel different and stop him from trying to convince you of his beliefs.

Relationship Lie #7: You are better than my ex in every way.

Men have insecurities as much as women do, and this is particularly true when it comes to ex-boyfriends. To help him feel better about himself, tell him he is much better than your ex, even if you don't necessarily feel that way.


Relationship Lie #8: My favorite shirt you got me ripped, so I had to throw it out.

The truth may be that you think it's ugly, and you won't ever wear it, so there's no sense in keeping it in your closet. Telling him that you threw it away because you didn't like it would hurt his feelings. However, telling him it ripped or was stained beyond repair gives you a perfectly good reason to throw it out without damaging his self-esteem.

Relationship Lie #9: That shirt is so sexy. Wear it only for me.

The truth is it looks like something your grandpa would wear, and you don't want him leaving the house in it. Instead of telling him he looks ridiculous, you make him feel good about himself and still keep him from leaving the house in it.{relatedarticles}

Relationship Lie #10: Do these pants make my butt look big? You can tell me; I won't get mad.

This lie is only OK to tell if you don't get mad at him. While you may not like the answer, if he says that it dos make your butt look big, you cannot express anger over his answer.

If you can't control your reaction when he says that you don't quite look the way you would like to look, it's better not to tell this lie.


Keep in mind that many men know that when a woman says she won't get mad, she's lying and will get upset. So men who realize this will lie right back with, "It's fantastic on you!" -- even if it does make you look big.

How to Decide if a Relationship Lie Is OK

Before you tell a lie, think about how it will affect your man. Answer the following questions to decide if it's OK.

  1. Will the lie make your man happy, feel empowered or more in love with you?
  2. If he found out the truth, would it be something he would break up with you over?
  3. Are you lying about something morally wrong?
  4. Will your lie betray him?
  5. Is your justification of the lie in his best interest?

If you can answer these questions with a clear conscience that your white lie won't hurt him or the relationship, the lie is most likely OK to tell.{relatedarticles}

What to Do if Caught in the Lie

Sometimes people who tell white lies get caught. When this happens, the best thing to do is to come clean. Don't try to come up with another lie to cover up your initial lie. Remember the phrase, "Oh, the tangled web we weave."

Tell him that you told the lie because you didn't want to hurt him with the truth. You love him too much to see him upset, especially when the cause is you.

He may still be upset, but if you show that you only meant to be loyal and supportive, he will come around to see you only wanted the best for him because you love him.


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Awaken Your Sensual Pleasures at One of the World's Sexiest Resorts

We've got two tickets to paradise. If you are having a difficult time coming up with an exotic vacation for you and your significant other, let us do the legwork for you. There's no better way to conquer burnout -- whether it be from your job or your relationship -- than by rejuvenating with the best laid vacation plans.

We all need a getaway every once in a while. Why not seize the moment to break away from your daily life and get a taste of what's out there? According to a survey conducted by Expedia, the average person in the United States receives 14 vacation days a year, yet leaves at least two of those unused. It's time to make the most of that time off. After all, you've earned it.{relatedarticles}

Besides your career, relationships are also hard work. It's important to reward your partner and yourself for all that you do to maintain a healthy relationship. If you're gonna go, why not go big? There are a few destinations that can make your holiday a rousingly pleasurable one. We gathered a list of the sexiest resorts available where you can relax, have fun, and partake in a bit of bodily delights.

Aleenta Resort and Spa, Phuket, Thailand

This secluded rendezvous is ideal for romance-seekers wanting isolated romance and elegance. Situated on the quiet northeastern coast of Phuket, clothing is optional in your own private plunge pool. The Aleenta Touch of Romance package provides a bottle of champagne upon your arrival in your suite, plus a candlelit dinner, gourmet breakfast, an hour of aromatherapy massage for two and a day trip to Hua Hin town. Just steps from the sands of Pak Nampran Bay, you can arrange for day of sailing, diving or just relaxing.


Puro Oasis Urbano, Mallorca, Spain

This resort is set in an 18th century palace that has a contemporary urban appeal with all the technology-based amenities you may need. The hotel's bleached-out Mallorcan ambiance is offset by the earth-tone fabrics and wooden accents. The leather puffs (chairs) adorn most rooms, which have spa-styled bathrooms for any desirable water escapades.

Canopied daybeds on the rooftop along with a black-tiled plunge pool can give rise to interesting encounters. Set near the beach in Palma de Mallorca, this resort gives you an opportunity to explore the city and meet locals or stay back at the hotel where its own bar and restaurant is a nightspot that's popular with residents and guests alike.{relatedarticles}

Little Dix Bay, Virgin Gorda, British Virgin Islands

A boutique resort, Little Dix Bay is ideal for sand-romping or lounging on the beautiful beaches surrounded by the 6 shades of blue inherent in this part of the Caribbean. For private beach adventures, the resort offers beach drops to seven area seashores that can only be reached by water. Essentials will be provided, such as an umbrella, towels, snorkeling equipment and boat transfer, as well as extras if you'd like to budget for a picnic lunch and champagne.

Teton Ridge Ranch, Tetonia, Idaho

If privacy is what you're looking for, but in a cooler and less sandy climate, then Teton Ridge Ranch may be the place. The 4,000-acre property is seven miles off the main road and more than an hour from Jackson, Wyoming. The ranch has only five guest rooms and the vaulted main lounge has a spectacular view of the Teton Range of the Rocky Mountains. Depending upon the season, you and your partner du jour can ride horseback, mountain bike, hike or enjoy Nordic skiing. A couple of large, roaring fireplaces help set the mood in the candlelit dining room. Follow this up by snuggling under a blanket as the snow falls or take a summer evening stroll under the wide open sky.


Mystique Oia Resort, Santorini Island, Greece

With 22 suites and villas, the Mystique on Oia Santorini Island offers dazzling views of Aegean Caldera. Sea-facing terraces accompany each suite with a canopy and daybed set for steamy interludes any time of day. The outdoor infinity pool brings the sensuousness of water just steps from your door, and even closer is the Jacuzzi bathtub ideal for two. Arrange for a couple's massage from the resort's Asian Spa, which offers wraps, body massages and other services in the privacy of your own suite or terrace.

InterContinental Resort Tahiti, French Polynesia

Located alongside a lagoon, the hotel features a private beach, two pools, tennis courts, the only dive center on the island, and 30 acres of private gardens. The southern Pacific surrounds the island, which offers unique views of endless ocean and Tahiti's sister island, Moorea. Unforgettable sunsets can set the mood for any romantic escapade you may have in mind.{relatedarticles}

Chalet Eugenia, Klosters, Switzerland

If you are dreaming of open fireplaces and romp-ready fur rugs, then look no further. This luxurious Swiss lodge chalet offers rustic appeal in the Engadine region of the Swiss Alps. Its on-site sauna and steam room will keep you heated up, as will the roaring fires available in 3 of the 8 rooms. The onsite chef is available to prepare regional specialties in either the main dining room or the second and more intimate dining space. Expect vintage champagne to woo your lover along with fabulous southerly views of the breathtaking Gotschna.


Viceroy Palm Springs, Palm Springs, California

This one is just for the girls, boys or swingers. There's always mischief afoot at this well-renown downtown Palm Springs spa resort. It has hosted celebrities and an international party crowd since the 1930s with luxury accommodations, amenities, and services.

Begin your experience with a swim to the lobby bar, which allows you to stay wet in more ways than one. Turn on your relaxation response even further with a visit to the Luxury Estrella Spa where you'll be treated to full-service aromatherapy. The Viceroy's 24-hour hot tub alludes to the naughty adventures available at any time of night.{relatedarticles}

Correntoso Lake & River Hotel, Argentine Patagonia

Sitting on a bluff overlooking the Correntoso River as it empties into the lake of Nahuel Huapi, this hotel is great for couples who enjoy outdoor activities together as well as the indoor ones. The Correntoso experience offers the river, lake, snow, and mountains of the Nahuel Huapi National Park, where fishing, kayaking, skiing, snowboarding, horseback riding, and hiking are fancied.

When your energy seems spent, take some time to rejuvenate at the hotel's Herbal Hammam and Spa. Herbs gathered from the nearby mountains are used in all the aromatherapy treatments. Afterwards, relax by the indoor/outdoor infinity pool that features astounding views of the lake and snow-tipped mountains


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