Today's Love Tip
If you ever needed a reason to sit absolutely still and think about nothing for a little while, then this is it. Researchers have found a link in the way the brain reacts during pleasurable sex and meditation. The two sound antithetical - ... Read More
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Sex Myths Explored

Men are always thinking about sex. Happy couples have a lot of awesome sex. Planned sex isn't romantic or satisfying. The myths are everywhere, and even if they might not be painted on billboards, somehow, at one point or another, many of us have ended up believing 1 of these common lies.

The mythology surrounding sex is perhaps the most perpetuated in the world, possibly in all of creation. There are some social and psychological explanations for why people believe the things that they do about sex, sure, but we can put an end to the nonsense right now by debunking some of the most popular and outrageous sex myths.

Men want sex more than women do. Not at all. Unlike men, however, women's sexual desires are more subject to the whims of hormone cycles. Men receive a regular, steady supply of hormones to their brain, whereas women's monthly hormonal changes make them more prone to have a lot of sex at certain times of the month, and disinclined others.

Men are always ready for sex. This might be true of newly post-pubescent high school and college students. Young men generally think about sex all day, no matter what other activities they are (or should be) engaged in. Once a man reaches his mid-20s, however, other parts of his life start to take center stage, whether it's studies or a career, and real-life stressors start to catch up to that once indefatigable sex drive.

Men are susceptible to the same stressors women are, and pressure, money, arguments, work, and the foibles of life drain sexual desire, just like they do for women.

Men are more promiscuous than women. Well... this one is kind of true, but not as true as you might think, because women tend to underestimate their sex lives, while men tend to overestimate, according to a recent poll. This is likely because of societal pressures placed on both sexes.

Because of this, men believe that they are expected to behave in a certain way, and that they are somehow measured by the number of women with whom they have slept. While there is a whole argument to be made about how these types of messages are encouraging the wrong kind of behavior, that's for another day.

If you're good in bed, you can please anyone. While it's likely that someone with a good deal of experience and practice will turn out to be a better romp in the sheets than a virgin, experience isn't everything. Your emotional and psychological state can have as much an influence over your bedroom experience.

Happy couples have great sex all the time. Life and its pressures get in the way often, especially for a couple that has children. Sometimes it can be hard to line up mutual schedules and still feel in the mood. Just because you're not having sex multiple times per week doesn't mean there is something wrong with your sex life, and if you and your partner don't feel the urge to do so that often, then what's the big deal?

That doesn't necessarily mean that a couple that has been married for 8 years and has 2 children can't have a fantastic sex life, but their definition of that sex life may be different from yours. Like anything, your perception of your sex life is subjective, and if you and your partner are both satisfied, that's really all that matters.

If you plan to have sex and it isn't spontaneous, something is wrong with your sex life. No, you and your partner just have a busy life outside the bedroom, and there's nothing wrong with that. The hormones that fuel spontaneous desire tend to lapse after about 18 months or so of being in a relationship, although many couples find that desire takes a dramatic dip after about 9 months of dating.

That doesn't mean you and your partner will never again be attracted to one another, but gentle reminders to both your brain and your body can help. Spontaneous sex is good, but the anticipation of a planned evening also makes for an enjoyable experience.

Most women orgasm through intercourse. Few myths have been perpetuated as much as this one has. Only about 30% of women orgasm from penetration alone, according to some studies, and many need clitoral stimulation in order to achieve climax. This is no one's fault, and it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with a woman's body or with a man's performance.

If the female body were re-imagined, maybe someone would have the good sense to put the clitoris inside the vagina instead of outside of it. Sure, some women have fabulous orgasms from penetrative sex and love it, but that's the exception, not the rule.

Women don't like dirty sex or porn. Completely false. Not all men are pornography connoisseurs, and not all women want rose petals on their pillows. Every person is different and has different preferences, and those preferences don't have anything to do with gender.

Watching porn isn't necessarily a guy thing, and researchers from Washington University's School of Medicine found that when women look at erotic images, they experience the same rapid increase in brainwave activity that men do. Some men enjoy a romantic evening, some enjoy pornography, many enjoy both, and the same is true for women as well.

If someone has an affair, it's because he or she doesn't love their partner. If your partner cheats on you, it doesn't necessarily mean that you are not loved, but it is a pretty strong indicator that he doesn't respect you enough to be faithful to you. (This only goes for relationships in which both partners have mutually agreed to be monogamous, of course.)

People cheat for a variety of reasons, and while some fall back on the excuse of sex addiction or alcohol or circumstance, the truth is that it's a complex issue that can't be reduced to just 1 variable or another. Just remember maintain the value of your own morals in this case.


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Six Wonderful Reasons To Make Love Now

It's normal that after spending years as a couple, your sex life becomes a little stale. The urge to do it with your lover has reached its plateau. Sex has become a part of the chores. Those sizzling, sweltering, tantric, sex has somehow become the thing of the past.

Although there is no question about how you feel about each other, in fact, your feeling has even become more deep and secured, but somehow the sexual spark has died, and the burning flame of passion burned down. You love each other so much, but most of the time, you just want to read a book or watch the TV or have go to sleep, rather than have sexual intercourse to your partner.{relatedarticles}

Maybe all you need is a sexual catalyst or just a little reminder how great and beneficial sex if for your relationship and well-being.

Here are wonderful reasons to make love to your partner, when you feel like using the, "I have a headache" excuse.


* You promised to. Even though you didn't really specifically said, "to love, to honour and to make love three times a week," but when you promised to love, and to hold, for richer and for poorer, it goes without saying that sex would be a part of that promise. I hate to say it ladies, but yes, it is your obligation.{relatedarticles}

* When you do it, it lessens the stress and eases the pain. Orgasm triggers oxytocin and endorphins which has an amnesic and anaesthetic effects that can last for as long as five hours. So in that period of five hours, you'll forget about your pains, your worries, and your anxieties. So stop with your, "I have your headache" excuse, cause sexual intercourse actually relieves your headache.

* When you make love, it will put you in a good light. Every time you have sex and makes it as pleasant as possible. Your partner' brain will relate you into something that is wonderful and pleasant. This is the main reason why couples who never ceases to have wonderful sex still find their partner irresistibly adorable. So, if you want to be irresistible to your honey bunch, think twice before you refuse to have sexual intercourse to him.


* When you make love, it fires up the passion. It's the passion that keeps your relationship special and intimate, it's what separates you from being his best friend or confidant. It's not that there is something wrong as being his best bud, but it's nice to his all around girl. It makes your man loyal and faithful, because all he was looking for in a woman are all rolled into one in you.{relatedarticles}

* When you make love, it makes you lose weight. Have you been dying to get rid of that love handles? Or wanting to fit into that skinny jeans of yours? Then double time with sexual action, because you can lose a minimum of two hundred calories.

* When you make love, it makes your heart healthier. That's literally and figuratively speaking. But literally speaking, women who have sex more often have higher levels of estrogen that protect the heart against disease.


I can tell you a hundred more reasons to have sex tonight, but this is it for now. I hope these are enough reasons to jazz up your sex life.{relatedarticles}

About The Author

The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Get your copy of Ruth's ebook and learn how you can seduce any man that you fancy with so much ease and subtlety.

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Sex Survival Guide: What Every Woman Needs for Bedtime Play

art36163The contents of your nightstand drawer are important, so we'd like to pass on to you the items that every woman should have to enjoy the many pleasures of sex, whether you're married, dating, or single.

Your daily vibrator. Hitachi and Rabbit are popular brands for go-to vibrators, but the point is that you need one. Whatever your brand preference is, you need a reliable, get-her-done vibrator that you can count on in a pinch. This is the power-tool of your sex life, so if you haven't already got one in your bedroom drawer, research different brands and models before you choose.

A luxury vibrator. You probably have more than 1 purse. You have your everyday purse that you cram all your stuff in, the one you've been putting all your miles on. But you also have a stylish, designer purse that you can pull out when you really want to glam it up.

Vibrators are no different. A top-notch vibe from JimmyJane, a leader in luxury adult toys, can run as much as $175. But every woman needs to spoil herself every now and again. Every woman needs to spoil her vagina, too.

Lube that smells good. Some women don't normally use lube because they don't need it, but even if you're one of those women, you should have it around for special occasions - anal, marathon sex, sex with a guy you're not incredibly attracted to, and so on and so forth.

If you're going to use lube, it should be 2 things: nice-smelling, and intended for a vagina. Men will throw anything on there if you don't stop them: lotion, moisturizer, hair conditioner (yes, this happens, and to real people). So keep a bottle of lubricant on standby.

Be sure to investigate the ingredients, particularly if you have sensitive skin or any allergies, because that is not the type of reaction you want to have down there.

Something incredibly weird. That's right. Keep something raunchy in the bedroom. Think of this as a litmus test, the hovering needle on the freak meter, if you will.

It will cost less than $40 to add a ball gag, nipple clamps, and hand restraints to your collection, but the reaction on your partner's face when he (or she) realizes that you not only know how to use these naughty accoutrements, but also own them - priceless.

You'll keep them guessing, and you will be a sex goddess in the eyes of your partner's friends. And those friends will hear about it, and in graphic detail. Just acknowledge that reality right now.

If you don't have a headboard, a number of companies make a handy "under the bed" restraint system, and by all accounts, even if you just use it once, ever, you will have gotten your money's worth.

Contraceptives and STD protection. This is a real "duh" item on the list, but it must be mentioned. Whether you use condoms or birth control, whatever it is, just do it. If you're on birth control, you should still use condoms when you're having sex with a partner you're not in a monogamous relationship with. While you might not know what that person has, you know for a fact that you don't want it, so don't risk it.

Remember, condoms don't "spoil the mood" and if you're picky about sensation, there are some ultra-thin and lamb skin options. Keep a huge box of condoms stashed in a drawer no matter what but don't get a box so big that they are going to expire before you have time to use them. The only thing worse than not using protection is using it incorrectly, and believing that you're still safe.

Something for your clitoris. You need a little silver bullet for your clitoris, and many are cheap, basic, and shaped a lot like an egg. Many of them have an attached remote control to regulate pressure, vibration speed, and other features.

Something for your G-spot. The G-spot is not a myth; it is a real cluster of tissue in your vagina and you have access to it. Whether you have done that yet or not is a different story. If your eyes have already been opened to the exquisite splendor of G-spot stimulation, then you are probably nodding your head in agreement right now.

If you have not, then it's more than likely that the right toy will help you nail it (no pun intended). Unfortunately, sex toys aren't returnable and some can be quite expensive, so it will be difficult to "test" some out in order to experiment.

Batteries. A lot of things can get in the way of sexy time: stress, work, arguments, school, children, life. The last thing you need when you're getting down to business is to be blocked by a battery failure. Keep a box of them in your drawer, and be sure that you have the right size for each of your toys.

Lingerie. This is not just for the boys; it's important that you feel sexy for yourself, too. No, there's nothing wrong with flopping down in your sweats from a long day and getting into your own pants, or someone else's. Wear lingerie because it makes you feel good, confident, feminine, and sexy. Wear it alone, or wear it for your partner, or better yet, do both.

If you don't own any lingerie, there was never a better time to start your collection. It's best to start with something basic but whether you want a sheer black teddy or a pink laced bustier, make sure you try it on to ensure a good fit and comfort. In fairness, though, you'll probably only be in it for 5 to 10 minutes at a time.

A charged cell phone. Wait, what? In the event that anything should go awry - and we're not talking about failure to climax - you should have immediate access to a cell phone that you can use to call for help if you or your partner should be accidentally injured during sex. You never know. Stranger things have happened.


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