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When Platonic Relationships Might Not Be So Platonic

Do you have a friend who lately seems like they might want to be more than just a friend? Are you having a hard time figuring out just how platonic your friendship might be? Navigating any relationship can be difficult, but there a few fairly reliable ways to figure out if your friendship could be headed to the next level.

The first thing you need to think about is how you and your friend communicate, as this can often be the key to your true feelings.

Communicating With Your Friend

First, ask yourself: How do we communicate? Do you email, text, call or primarily talk in person? Each method of communication has its own level of intimacy. If you find yourself on the phone with your friend just to exchange basic information that could be sent through text or email, there may be something to that.

If you're using any excuse you can muster to hear his or her voice, there's a good chance one of you wants more than just friendship. The more intimate the mode of communication the more intimate you probably want to be.


Next, you'll need to consider how often you communicate. Emailing and texting might not be super intimate, but if you're doing it all the time, your relationship could definitely be slipping outside the lines of platonic. Do you find any excuse you can to text your friend? Do you email them when you discover something just a little bit funny online or you have a question about "that one movie with that one guy..."? Are they doing the same? These are big clues that you want to be more than friends.

Paying attention to how you keep in touch with a friend is a great way to see if you might want to make out more than just hang out. Keep tabs on how you keep tabs on each other and you'll be one step closer to determining where you stand.

After you've considered how you communicate with your "platonic" friend, the next part of your relationship to examine is your level and nature of physical contact. In other words how often and where do you touch? Body language holds many answers for friends who might secretly want to be more.

First, ask yourself, how do you touch? Does your friend find any excuse to touch you? Have there been many times that they've "accidentally" brushed your arm or leg, or touched your hair? Do you find yourself doing the same? If so, chances are that there is some physical chemistry brewing under the surface. If you're unsure of where your relationship stands start paying attention to how you touch one another and you'll likely find some answers as to whether you are more than just friends.


Next, consider what's going on with your body language. How close do you sit to one another? Do you turn your bodies towards each other? Are you often touching yourself (hair, lips, face)? The more you're facing each other and touching yourself, the more you're likely projecting what you want to happen - in other words, being close to them and touching.

Do you find yourself caring more about your appearance when you know you're going to see them? If you're making a point to wear your best clothes and use your favorite perfume or cologne when you know you're going to see your friend, chances are pretty good that you want to arouse their attraction. You should ask yourself whether you care about those things when you hang out with other platonic friends. If not, it's time to consider that your platonic friend isn't so platonic.

Keeping track of how you touch, use your bodies and present yourself is an easy way to determine what you really want from a relationship and puts you one step closer to knowing if you're more than just friends.

Once you've really nailed down your verbal and non-verbal communication habits, including body language, it's time to look at the reality of what types of relationships you both have with other people. All the signs might be there, but if your platonic friend is in a serious relationship with someone else or is sleeping with a lot of people, it might not matter.


Are either of you dating someone else? Are those relationships long-term? If your platonic friend already has a non-platonic friend it might not matter how often you talk or touch. Even if a spark is there, do you want your friend to end a relationship they've been in for a long time? They might have feelings for you that go beyond platonic, but those feelings might not be strong enough to end their current relationship.

If you and your friend aren't in long-term romantic relationships with other people, you should move on to the reality of your sex lives. Are you or the platonic friend sleeping with anyone or a lot of other people? If they are, all of the signs that suggest you might have a not-so-platonic relationship might just mean that one of you likes to flirt or that one of you is more of a touchy-feely person. Sex and love are two different things and you might not want to ruin your platonic friendship for a romantic relationship that might not pan out in the end.

When all the signs are there and you find yourselves getting out of-or ending-physical relationships with other people, the chances are good that you are more than just friends.

Keeping track of how you touch, use your bodies and present yourself is an easy way to determine what you really want from a relationship and puts you one step closer to knowing if you're more than just friends.


Relationships can be complicated, even when both parties make their desires and interests known. But in less straight-forward circumstances-such as when platonic friends develop romantic feelings for one another-it isn't easy to determine what you might be feeling-let alone what your friend might be thinking! By keeping an eye out for a few key signals, you'll have a better idea if your supposedly platonic friend is interested in being more than just friends.

Pay attention to how and when you communicate, what you're both doing with your bodies and what (if any) romantic relationships you might have with other people and you'll be that much closer to understanding what you both want from each other.

If you still aren't sure, consider a quick kiss. The truth may lie in what happens when your lips connect!