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How Not To Lose Yourself In Your Relationship

If you feel like you've lost touch with the woman you once were, then you need to step back and take a look at what's really going on in your relationship.

Ironically, the very act of falling in love in the first place feels like one is losing oneself in the romance. At the best of times, this feeling is experienced by both partners. But generally speaking, it tends to be sustained throughout the relationship to a greater extent with women.{relatedarticles}

Pleasing Too Much

Women are taught to value cooperation over confrontation and may find themselves pretending to agree with something rather than challenge it. Part of it may be due to our tendencies toward giving our hearts completely and forgetting about our own needs along the way.


Many of us have learned our peacekeeping skills from very early on. These may become so ingrained over time that it becomes difficult to put ourselves first.

So if you find yourself suppressing your own dreams and visions for the the sake of wanting to please, you are creating a co-dependency, where your inner happiness depends on successfully pleasing your partner.{relatedarticles}

As a result, you are keeping a vital part of yourself hidden from view. If your partner doesn't have the chance to experience the real you, there is no longer a healthy give and take in the relationship. There is an emotional inequity. If this continues, it can lead to hidden resentments and crushed dreams.

Back Into Balance

To get back into a healthy balance, give yourself some space. Take some "me" time to be alone and happy. This can be as simple as finding a quiet corner to do something on your own and recharge your sense of self. Here are a few suggestions:


* Spend an evening with no interruptions, rejuvenating in your own special way like reading a special book, luxuriating in a bubble bath, dreaming new dreams...etc..

* Go shopping or spend time with good friends, just goofing around without any worries.

* Develop new friendships and interests to energize yourself and enjoy a new sense of creativity.

* Learn to be more assertive in the moment and state your needs without hurting others.{relatedarticles}

* Set new boundaries so you can garner more respect and appreciation from your partner. Don't forget you trained your partner to treat you the way he does now; you just need to notch it up to a new and healthier level.

Most of all, commit to having more fun in your relationship. Support each other in your individual strengths and encourage each others growth. Respect each other's differences but most of all, be authentic.


When you make your needs a priority in your own life, your relationship will indeed reap the rewards in the healthiest way possible.{relatedarticles}

About The Author

Got a burning question about how not to lose yourself in a relationship? Grandpa Gord and Grandma Gertie put a sensible spin on expert advice, with a little humor thrown into the mix. We cover topics ranging from pets to parenting, careers to hobbies, relationships to lifestyle, finances to food, and everything in between. Visit us athttp://www.sensibleguides.com for some simple and straight from the hip advice from people who've been around the block a few times.