Polyamory: What Is it?

You may have heard the term polyamory being tossed around lately and wondered what it is. Well, it's probably not what you think. Polyamory isn't a trend that originated in Utah or anything like that, though it may be confused with polygamy. Nor does it have anything to do with swinging. Polyamory is engaging in a relationship with more than one person with the full consent and knowledge of all parties involved. And unlike swinging, in which participants only engage in sex acts, the relationship is not exclusively sexual, though it may include sex. Basically, more than two people agree to an exclusively non-monogamous relationship with one another. The combinations of genders are endless, and participants may identify as heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual or otherwise.


Once again, however, sex isn't the primary focus of a polyamorous relationship. The goal is to build meaningful long-term relationships, much like a traditional marriage – only more than two people participate. These relationships can last as long as a traditional marriage, but they may lack the expectation that the relationship is a lifelong commitment. One of the major challenges of a polyamorous relationship is societal expectation – it's obviously an unconventional arrangement, and friends and family may reject the idea. Legal protections are absent for polyamorous relationships, so they do not enjoy the benefits of marriage. Personal issues that may arise in the relationships include jealousy, possessiveness and a desire to conform to cultural norms. The participants in a polyamorous relationship may establish a set of rules, which all participants are expected to follow. Those may include scheduling times when each partner spends time with another in the relationship, when and with whom participants may have sex and living arrangements.