A relationship has its ups and downs and problems may crop up along the way. It is normal for couples to try and patch up things by themselves. However, there may be times that a couple may need help in resolving their conflicts, so they go to couples counseling.
Couples counseling helps the couple understand the problems in the relationship. It should be a mutual agreement between the couple to attend the counseling sessions and seek mutual solutions to their problems.
There may be times that the husband or partner is reluctant to attend a couples counseling. This is understandable because he may always have thought that your affairs are private matters only known to you. Try to talk to your partner calmly and make him understand that you need counseling because problems that you haven't resolved are putting a lot of strain to your relationship. Try to convince him that you can't do this alone and that it is important that he should be involved in this. Make the reasons clear to your partner, so that from the very start he knows why you both are into counseling.
Try to check your local parish if they offer couples counseling. Your partner may be more comfortable attending the meetings conducted by a priest or a pastor than a psychologist or somebody not familiar to him.
If your partner doesn't want to go to a counseling session, go on your own. After attending a couple of sessions, talk to him about it and ask him about the changes he might have observed in you and in your relationship. In most cases, positive effects are observed by the husband or partner and so this encourages him to attend the sessions with his wife.
It would be good to get a counselor that both of you can trust. Make sure that this counselor has an open mind and does not take sides, but merely acts as a mediator or adviser to the both of you.
Try to evaluate your counseling sessions with your partner. Ask each other your feelings about the sessions and if these are working for both of you. If there are still problems, you can inform the counselor, so that better and more appropriate counseling methods would be adopted.Encourage your husband or partner each time you have the counseling sessions together. Try to boost his positivity towards the sessions. Just let him know that you are both committed to do whatever is possible to keep your relationship intact. Let him know that you appreciate his efforts as well.
If the situation has worsened due to unresolved conflicts on both sides, try to convince your husband or partner to go to a couples counseling session before both of you make the final and drastic step to choose to separate and totally end the relationship. There may still be a possibility to save your relationship if all possible solutions like couples counseling are exhausted.
Source: Health Guidance
Jacob Mabille is one of the administrators and publishers of Health Guidance.