Sometimes a woman's biggest competition is not another woman; it's sports. Many men spend what seems to be all their waking hours living and breathing sports. If it's not football, it's baseball, basketball, or hockey. While your boyfriend or husband spends countless hours watching ball games, you're feeling more and more neglected. Are you destined to be a sports widow forever? Not to worry. Here are some things you can do to get your man on your team.
Of course, the answer is not to forbid your man from watching sports. It's never pleasurable to have something you enjoy taken away from you. What if your man forbids you to go shopping or get a massage? You wouldn't like that all, would you? It's OK for the both of you to have different interests.
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Benefits of Being a Sports Fan
There are many positive aspects of being a sports fan that you might not be aware of. Sure, you may not feel that grunting and yelling at the TV is beneficial, but think about the other things your man is doing while watching sports. He is probably watching the games with his friends, which gives him precious male bonding time. In addition, it's his way of relaxing, although it may not seem like it.
Your idea of relaxation may be reading a book, while his is rooting for his favorite team. Watching sports also gives your man an adrenaline rush. Having his favorite team score a field goal in the final seconds or watching his team come from behind and shoot a 3-pointer in the basketball game is thrilling to him.
Why Do You Hate Sports?
If you choose to bring up the topic of being a sports widow with your man, you need to first figure out why you hate it that he watches sports so much. Is he neglecting you and the kids? Is he ignoring you? Do you feel left out? Does he get too emotionally attached to the game and become prone to outbursts if his team loses? Is he foregoing his chores and other household duties in order to watch the game? All these factors can make any rational woman dread the weekends. When yelling doesn't work, it's common to resort to sulking or pouting in another room.
How to Help with the Problem
Just like with most other relationship issues, the key is compromise. First of all, just because you don't like sports doesn't mean it's bad and your man shouldn't enjoy it. You should both be free to pursue your own interests. It's best to have a frank discussion with your man (at a time when there's not a game on TV) and let him know your feelings. Most likely, he is too involved in the game to know how you really feel.
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You don't want to have your man resent you. Don't tell him he can't watch any more games or make him feel guilty for watching them. Everyone needs down time once in a while, but if you feel that he's spending so much time watching sports that the household is being neglected, then you may want to suggest a compromise. Maybe he should only watch the most important games instead of every single one that happens to be on TV.
It can also be good for you to compromise as well. Are you interested in sports at all? Are you willing to learn more about the rules of a particular sport? Pick a game and watch it with your husband. Ask him questions about the rules and the types of plays. You can even ask for his advice on what teams to root for. Your man will most likely enjoy the fact that you are interested in sports. At the same time, it's a great way for the two of you to bond. If he's not willing to teach you the fundamentals of the game, go online on your own time and learn the basics. You can then impress him the next time a game is on. Who knows, you might end up loving sports as much as he does.
If watching sports is just not your thing at all, don't just sit at home and sulk or nag at your man. Use the time to catch up on some relaxation of your own. Go hang out at a nearby park, go shopping, get a massage, or have coffee with friends.
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What if It's an Obsession?
Although most men do not have a bona fide addiction or obsession with sports, there are some instances in which women, children, and households are truly neglected because of a man's addiction to sports. Spending more than 15 hours per week watching sports is enough to ruin a relationship. It's important that your man spends time with you or all you will feel is resentment and jealousy. If the sports get out of hand, you need to be honest with him and let him know your feelings. Allowing your anger to build up will only make things worse.
If your man is watching sports more and more, to the point where your relationship is suffering, then your man may have some deeper issues. Some men become obsessed with work or hobbies to avoid dealing with their personal lives. If your man is placing sports above your relationship, then you need to uncover the underlying issue. Until you do so, sports will continue to rule the household. If the situation does not improve, then you and your man may need to resort to professional counseling to keep the relationship from falling apart.
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Communication is Key
Communication is key to a fulfilling relationship. Be honest with your man and let him know how you feel about the amount of time he spends watching sports. However, as long as he takes care of his household duties and makes time for you later, let him enjoy watching sports. Try to be supportive of his interests. Who knows? He just may be willing to go with you to that new chick flick you've been wanting to see.
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Relevance Info Services, an international publisher of quality information, approached me as an expert in relationship issues with the question if I could evaluate a number of websites that offer methods and tips for saving relationships and prevent a divorce. The fact is that, with respect for all the well meant kind of information, there are many offerings on the internet that are not based upon psychological principals. A lot of the presented materials cause more harm than any good. It is not composed by experts and that's certainly not what you want. If you are in serious trouble the situation demands a professional approach by people that are very experienced in solving relationship issues.{relatedarticles}
This article is about what to do after infidelity.
Iinfidelity is a betrayal, a loss of trust. It is lying or disloyalty to one's partner or lover. Infidelity may be sexual or emotional in nature and typically involves a third person. Infidelity does not necessarily involve physical separation, but can be characterized by emotional detachment as well. Emotional detachment can happen when you lose your partner's trust or if you lie to your partner or tell them half-truths. Betraying your partner may inflict a deep pain that is difficult to repair and sometimes causes irrevocable damage to the relationship that hastens its end. There are many things that can occur in the wake of infidelity. If you are married, infidelity could lead to divorce. If you are in a committed relationship, it could lead to a break up.
So what happens after infidelity occurs in your relationship?
There are distinct stages a relationship goes through in the wake of infidelity.
1. Roller Coaster Stage. This is the stage where strong emotions arise - emotions such as anger and self-blame followed by a period of introspection and appreciation of the relationship. Just like it says, your emotions go for a roller coaster ride, up and down, round and round and it's a bit hard to figure out exactly where you are.{relatedarticles}
2. Moratorium Stage. This stage is a less emotional stage, at least for the person who was cheated upon. In this stage, the person affected tries to make sense of the betrayal. They may ask for more detail about the affair or retreat into themselves or quietly seek help from others regarding the issue.
3. Trust Building Stage. This stage takes place when the couple has decided to stay together. During this stage, the couple really tries to make their marriage work. They decide that a continued commitment to their relationship is important and with time, eventually forgiveness and trust can be achieved.
After an infidelity occurs, you may still find yourself often doubting your partner. Don't lose heart, there is hope. Here are some signs that may indicate if a person is still worthy of your love.
- Expresses sincere remorse and regret for cheating on you
- Heartfelt apologies feel true when you hear them
- Accepts total blame for his or her betrayal
- Cuts off all contact with the third party
- Shows a renewed appreciation, admiration, respect and devotion to only you{relatedarticles}
- Displays a willingness and openness to talk about what happened
- Is willing and eager to go into marriage counseling with you
If both of you are willing to participate in a deep, open, and honest conversation regarding your relationship and how you would like it to progress, there is a good chance you will be able to work through your issues.
If, on the other hand, your partner is not open to discussing these things with you and not demonstrating any of the possible reconcilement signs listed above, it may be time to cut your losses and get out. Additional signs that it might be time to end the relationship are: your partner seems to be more agitated than usual and seems to emotionally and physically withdraw from you.
They may go out alone more often and may be making clandestine phone calls or working late hours. You might even receive anonymous phone calls at the house. If several of these things are occurring, then most probably your partner is cheating on you. If you can find concrete evidence of this infidelity, then it's probably a good idea to break up. A relationship that is based on lies, lacks trust and lack of commitment is doomed to fail.{relatedarticles}
After an infidelity occurs, be aware of any signs that may indicate your partner's willingness to stay and work it out or clear intention to follow along the path of continued betrayal. Just be careful and pay attention. Make the best decision for you.
About The Author
This article was written by expert author Ruth Martin for Relevance Info Services
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Love is not predictable, so why should dating have rules? Well, the reason for this is that when women follow their hearts and not their heads during dating, the way that they act around men is not always in their own best interests. You can't expect to treat a man like you would treat a girlfriend if you want to make him crazy about you. Whether or not you agree, here are 5 dating rules that you must not break if you want to succeed at dating:
He's gorgeous and cute on the surface, but take your time and get to know the real person before you allow yourself to attach to him. This will save you a lot of heartbreak and disappointment when you find out he's not the man you thought he was or he was never really looking for a relationship. If you take some time to find out who he is first, you can eliminate the bad ones quickly and find yourself a top quality man.{relatedarticles}
Rule #2 - Don't Pressure or Chase
OK, so this one seems unfair. Why should we have to sit back and wait while we let the man do the chasing? The reason is that chasing a man generally does not work in the long-term. A man will generally resist any pressure that you put on him and you could find yourself in a battle.
Generally, pursuit is in the genes of a man. If you make it easy for him, he will not find you half as interesting as if you present a challenge. He might be flattered at first, but he will lose interest quickly. Don't believe me? Next time you are dating, try holding back just a little bit and see how much it sparks his interest.
Rule #3 - Don't Expect Too Much Too Soon
Don't think that you are in a relationship just because you've had a few dates or he seems really into you. If you want to succeed at dating, you must take it slowly and be patient. When you start to display premature expectations of a relationship, everything changes and he starts to feel pressurised. Make sure you stay cool if you want to get that guy.{relatedarticles}
Rule #4 - Don't Reveal Too Much Too Soon
We women are fairly open creatures and we like to be honest. When we feel close to someone it is easy for us to open up and spill everything out about what has gone wrong in our lives and relationships. When you first meet a man, resist the urge to tell him anything that he might interpret negatively. It is easy to put a man off with tales of past boyfriends or premature confessions, so be on your guard and save these for when your relationship is stronger.
Rule #5 - Don't Sleep With Him Straight Away
OK, so you don't like this one either, but it's a fact. When you sleep with a man, you will start to become attached to him, even before you have established that he is a suitable partner. Now that you are attached to him, you will have expectations of a relationship. You have presented yourself as easy prey and the challenge is over for him before it begins. You have already broken most of these dating rules. Yes, he will happily sleep with you, although now he is more likely to see you as someone to have sex with rather than someone to have a relationship with.{relatedarticles}
When you hold back and see yourself and your body as too valuable to just give away to someone you barely know, he will see you as valuable too. He will be intrigued and want you more. You will be laying the foundations for long-term attraction and a relationship. When you don't give into your urges to break these rules, you will be able succeed at dating.
About The Author
When you learn how dating works for a man, you give yourself an incredible advantage. You will understand why he behaves the way he does and what you can do to draw him closer rather than push him away. Sign up now at http://www.ensuremydatingsuccess.info to learn secrets that will help you meet and keep your dream man. Or visit http://www.datingtorelationshipadvice.com/DatingRelationshipTipsHelp/EarlyRelationshipAdvice.html for advice on how to succeed at dating.Read More
