Who says there's no such thing as bad sex?
While most men might argue that bad sex is better than no sex or that beggars can't be choosers, that's honestly far from the truth. Sometimes sex just isn't memorable. The good news is that if you've found someone you really love (or like), it's possible to improve bedroom behavior.
Women's Complex Bodies and Men's Anxiety
Women's bodies are all so different. One woman isn't aroused in nearly the same way as another woman. This can cause a guy to feel inadequate in a new relationship because he has no idea what to do to please you.
{relatedarticles}
It's highly likely that your guy is using techniques that he successfully tried on other women. The problem is that it doesn't work on you.
If you're unsure on how to move forward without leaving your relationship in the dust, start by communicating with him. You don't want to make him feel awful by saying something like, "I really don't like what you do down there." Instead, try something like, "I would love to show you what gets me going if you want to watch."
Your guy will not object to this if he really wants to please you. He may even be thankful that you're finally giving him a clue about what he needs to do.
If you don't feel comfortable masturbating in front of him, then simply tell him what to do. Having better communication during sex can improve your overall sex life.
{relatedarticles}
Here's an example:
You guys are getting hot and heavy with some kissing, and his hand starts to creep down to your crotch. You immediately think the worst, because you know it's not going to be a good time with his rough hands that seem to have no control.
Instead of dreading what he is about to do, lay your hand on his and move it the way you like it and want it. Let go at times to see if he gets the hint, if he doesn't, lay your hands on his again to show him what to do again. You can even whisper, "I like it like this...more like this."
When His Penis Is Too Small
Unfortunately, not all men are as well-endowed as you want them to be. For this reason, you need to adjust the sex according to his size.
The best way to accommodate a smaller penis is to lie on your back in missionary position and bring your legs up as close to you as possible. This will help him penetrate deeply, increasing your sensation.
{relatedarticles}
If you can't bring your legs close enough to you, try to lie on your back or stomach and keep your legs together. When he penetrates you that way, it causes you to be tighter so you'll feel more of him.
When His Penis Is Too Large
Bigger isn't always better. This is especially true when you have a large guy with a petite woman.
To accommodate his large size, make sure you are lubricated enough from foreplay before penetration. Stay on top during intercourse. That way, you can control how deep his penis penetrates.
If he insists on being on top, communicate how far he can go so he doesn't hurt you. You can make him feel a lot better about himself by acknowledging that it's because of him being so large.
Spice It Up to Make Bad Sex Better
People in long-term relationships often think they can't have wild sex. They think because they have been with the person for a while that it's not supposed to be exciting anymore.
{relatedarticles}
This is simply not true and the reason why so many long-term couples have issues in the bedroom. You can always have wild sex, as long as you make it that way.
Try to bring in different sex toys, so you both can have fun trying them out. It's a perfect way to find out what each of you likes and increase sexual communication.
If you see something on television or a movie you want to try out, watch it with your partner to show him what you would like to do with him. He'll get excited seeing someone else in the moment and then want replicate it with you.
Everyone has fantasies, but not too many people share them, especially with their sex partners. Sharing your fantasies with your partner is one way to make bad sex better.
Scared that he'll think you are too much of a freak? Start with a fantasy that isn't too shocking first to see how he handles it. If he isn't too surprised by it, share a little more as you gain confidence in his reactions. Soon, you'll likely be able to spill out all the parts of your fantasies with the objective of making them come true.
{relatedarticles}
When Bad Sex Is a Symptom
Many people focus too much on a symptom of a problem, such as bad sex, rather than trying to identify the cause. Many times, the real issue is the relationship and not the sex.
When people are upset, resentful or not emotionally connected to their partners, sex will suffer. They won't feel like doing anything to increase sexual pleasure because they aren't interested in receiving pleasure from it.
To make bad sex better when there are relationship problems, you need to attack the problems outside of the bedroom first. When you develop a stronger bond in your relationship, your sex life naturally will improve.
It Takes Two to Have Better Sex
Making bad sex better involves getting your partner involved. If he is not willing to change because he's not interested in pleasing you as much as you want to please him, you may want to think about your relationship with him.
{relatedarticles}
Selfishness in the bedroom can sometimes overlap into the relationship, which can cause serious problems. Identifying the reasons why he doesn't want to please you will help you decide if you should move on to someone who is much more attentive to your needs and wants.
Read More
There is always excitement in the air at the beginning of a new relationship. Spending time together is a fresh experience; familiar things we've done in the past become novel and thrilling. But as relationships age, other stresses in life eclipse the simple pleasures of enjoying each other's company. We tend to fall into routines, perhaps even taking the other person for granted.
It's important to keep the relationship healthy by allowing yourselves the time to rediscover each other and renew the passion. Courting each other all over again is a great way to keep the fires burning. If you're stumped on what to do, our date night ideas should set you in the right direction.
Getting Outside
Avoid couch potato syndrome like the plague; it will only breed apathy in your relationship. Sitting in front of the TV night after night is an easy enough rut to fall into.
Here are some fun and unique date ideas to get you both off the sofa and into the great outdoors.{relatedarticles}
Classic dinner date re-imagined - Instead of eating at the local pub you've been to a million times before, try an adventurous ethnic eatery. Korean BBQ or Brazilian churrascaria, for instance, offer a truly interactive dining experience.
Dust off those dancing shoes - Busting a move on the dance floor is a great way to let off steam. Too shy or uncoordinated to shake it? Take a dance class together. Become cinephiles together - Bored of the same old dinner and a movie? Skim the local listings for film festivals showing shorts, documentaries, or indie films. Or go the drive-in and make out like teenagers.
Join the gym - Having a workout partner will motivate and challenge you. Keeping yourselves in decent shape will also tell the other you are still trying to look hot for them. Surprise him - Sectrely plan something you both enjoy doing, but maybe haven't had the time to do in a while. Or pretend it's his birthday and set up a date that is all about him. He may just return the favor. Smarten up - Visit a museum, science center, zoo, planetarium, art gallery, and expos like food and wine shows and consumer electronics conventions. Learn something new and discuss your impressions.{relatedarticles} Make it a staycation - Get a newfound appreciation of your hometown. Check out touristy activities in your locale and take lots of pictures. Keep an eye on local events - Festivals and fairs will come to your location, so don't miss the midway games, Ferris wheel rides, and other exhibitions that that will only be around for a limited time. Live entertainment - Watch a play at the theatre, check out a live band perform at a bar, giggle at stand-up comedy shows, attend a sporting event, or go see a poetry reading.
Knock it off the bucket list - Go skydiving or zip-lining, take a hot air balloon ride, try parasailing, participate in indoor rock climbing. Indulge in any one of the things you've always wanted to do. Here's your chance! Go bowling - Bowling is an old-school activity with a great casual vibe. The two of you can have a beer or a slice of pizza while engaging in a friendly competition. Just about every town has a bowling alley. It's a low-stress environment, so your date is guaranteed to feel relaxed and comfortable, which is important. Dating on a budget
You don't have to break the bank to spend some quality time with each other. The emphasis here is not what you do, but whom you are doing it with. Take a hike - Put on some good walking shoes and explore the natural wonders of the scenic routes in your community. Pack a lunch and make a whole day of it.{relatedarticles} Pretend you're rich - Put on your fancy clothes and test-drive your dream car, go to an open house showing, or attend a swanky auction. You won't have to spend any money and will get a rare glimpse into how the other half lives. Be spontaneous - Make no plans. Take a walk or a drive together and see where the day takes you.
Take a free tour - Many factories and production facilities offer free tours with samples. Learn a little something about the manufacturing process and get a chance to taste some gourmet wines, beers, cheeses, and chocolates. Play Bingo - Invest in a couple bingo dabbers and have some fun listening and paying attention. If you have the good fortune to yell out "Bingo," you can spend your winnings on a nice meal afterwards. Go to the beach - Bring a Frisbee, pack a picnic and watch the sunrise or sunset.{relatedarticles} Be kids again - Bowling, mini golf, batting cages, driving range, arcades, and billiards are pretty cheap activities that are fun for any age. Same goes for snowball or water gun fights. Staying home
Maybe you both work all day long and the last thing you want to do afterwards is go back out into the world. Here are some romantic date ideas for the homebodies out there.
A bubble bath for two - Unwind after a long day with a sweet and sexy bubble bath. Light some candles, play some soft music, pour some champagne, scatter some rose petals, and make an evening of cleansing each other. Play a board game - Go from bored to board. Games like Jenga, Scrabble, Twister, Chess, Battleship and Trivial Pursuit will engage you in a little flirtatious trash talk. Prepare a meal together - Plan a sumptuous meal side by side. Incorporate ingredients you both enjoy, experiment with new flavor combinations, and breathe new life into an ordinary task.{relatedarticles} Improve your home - Tackle a home improvement project. Perhaps a room needs a fresh coat of paint, you've been considering making the house more energy efficient, or you've been dreaming of that walk-out deck. Completing these projects with each other will be satisfying and give you a sense of accomplishment. Role-play - Don something sexy and explore your deepest fantasies in tandem. Push each other's limits and be open to new experiences.
Read More
