Usually, when a couple decides to separate, it's a precursor to an inevitable divorce. But therapists and the couples they counsel are finding that sometimes, separation is the first step to reconciliation. Instead of separating ultimately to divorce later, many couples are treating separation as a "time-out" of sorts. And sometimes that time-out is just what couples need to recharge the marriage. For some couples, however, what Psychology Today calls an "enhancement separation" is not a good idea. For example, couples who have experienced breaches in trust, such as infidelity or addiction, may not fare well in a separation. Both parties should go into the arrangement with the same expectations. That is, a separation won't work if one person isn't willing to work on the relationship and views the separation as a means to divorce, while the other person legitimately views the time apart as a chance to work on the marriage. Making expectations clear and reasonable is important.
A communication plan set into place can ease confusion and establish how often each spouse wants to talk about the relationship, when it's OK to call or visit, and so on. It's always a good idea to see a marriage and family therapist during the process, before you choose to separate, during the separation and afterward. A therapist can act as a neutral third party, assessing whether or not a separation is a good idea, is effective and ultimately achieved its goals. Before you choose to separate, see a family law attorney. It may be a reality check for those wishing to divorce. An attorney also can inform you of your state's laws about separation and how it affects divorce, should you choose that route.