In a split, be it amicable or acrimonious, it's the division of assets and child custody that typically get the most attention when dealing with closure. While those issues are usually addressed in court, one thing that isn't openly discussed is who gets the friends. Unfortunately, someone is always going to be on the losing end of this fight. Although there aren't any set guidelines in dealing with the custody of friends, there are some common-sense tactics to consider. One major factor is who caused the end of the relationship. If one party cheated or did something else dishonest, he or she will probably lose friends because other people are more likely to sympathize with the victim than the bad guy or girl. If the decision to part ways was mutual, there is the potential for remaining friends with both people. But there should always be a loyalty to the person who was a friend before the relationship blossomed.
If you aren't sure about playing for both teams, speak with your original friend and find out how he or she feels about you remaining friends with his or her ex. Be prepared to cut ties with the ex because people often want to disassociate themselves with anything concerning their ex, including friends. If you do remain friends with each individual, make it a practice never to talk about the other person behind his or her back. Become Switzerland and do your best to remain neutral. Don't bash one or the other. If the topic of the other person comes up, do your best to change the subject. Even though you have the best intentions, at the end of the day, you likely will be drawn to the person you feel the closest to. Just remember to exercise some compassion -- you never know if you will end up in the same boat.
