Researchers seem to be coming to a consensus lately that for humans, much like it is for other mammals, sticking with just one partner for life may not be natural. But whether or not it's possible is another story entirely. In several of the closest species of animals to humans, one study found that 80 percent of animals were polyamorous, or had multiple partners, in their lives. Overall, just 3 to 5 percent of animals chose one mate for life. That doesn't mean people shouldn't strive to be monogamous, necessarily; it just means it's difficult. More than half of American marriages end in divorce, and many spouses will admit to infidelity, albeit confidentially. Some figures find that the rate of cheating among spouses is as high as 60 percent. The manner in which different cultures view polyamory is worth examining when trying to answer the question of whether or not it's possible to be monogamous.
The author of Lust in Translation, Pamela Druckerman, says Americans have an unrealistic view of human nature in marriage, expecting fidelity and being "too surprised" when a spouse cheats. "The knee-jerk reaction is that you have to get a divorce," Druckerman says. The French, Druckerman says, have lower expectations. They are hopeful of having a monogamous marriage, but view infidelity as just another hurdle to overcome in the marriage if it happens. Conversely, there are plenty of payoffs for a monogamous couple. Sexual monogamy is obviously safer than having multiple partners, and there is the element of safety and trust in a monogamous relationship. Regardless of what options you and your partner decide on, it's crucial that you are on the same page to preserve the love and trust you have in one another.
