Work out your issues before you plan a joint holiday, and when you do, consider spending Christmas morning, for example, with one side, and Christmas evening with the other. Perhaps the grandparents want to come over to see the kids unwrap their Santa gifts early Christmas morning. It's an ideal time to have a meal together and get some peace and quiet later. Before planning a trip, examine your own motives and resources. If you want to travel, ensure that it won't be cost-prohibitive, particularly if you're buying gifts for the extended family. Be sure you have the resources to ship items if need be - and ship them back if you or the kids get large gifts that can't travel home with you on the plane or in the car. Consider the schedules of your extended family - perhaps they're doing their own thing for the holidays. Above all, remember that the holidays are supposed to include quality family time. If you're buzzing around trying to visit everyone and not hurt anyone's feelings, you'll get burned out and not enjoy the season as much. Do what you and your partner deem the right choice for your family