While a lovemaking session can be meaningful without an orgasm, it may leave one or both partners unsatisfied, making you go from "O" to "oh no."
Men sometimes have trouble giving women a satisfying orgasm because they often take for granted the fact that while penetration is sufficient for them, it might not be for their partner.
There are a number of ways to stimulate your partner to the point of orgasm without intercourse, and much of it has more to do with psychological stimulation than physical. Although it's uncommon for some to reach climax without any kind of genital or physical stimulation, it does happen - and it should be celebrated. More common, however, is an orgasm without penetrative intercourse.
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As most women know, clitoral stimulation is one of the most exhilarating and stimulating means to achieve climax, but it's often undervalued by men, who are quick to go right to penetration.
Here are some simple recommendations on how to get you and your partner in the right frame of mind necessary to achieve an orgasm without intercourse.
Looking
The initial stage of sexual attraction is the simple act of looking. Noticing someone's general appearance, their hair, size, shape, color, and especially their face is what launches someone's attraction to another.
In the same way that attraction is conceived by looking at one another, partners can also become lusty for one another based solely on visual stimulation.
Try leaving the lights on before you engage your partner and undressing one another slowly so that you can each appreciate the other's body. Wear skimpy underwear and prolong the act of touching one another until neither of you can stand it anymore for maximum arousal.
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Touching
Touching one another is where things really start to get interesting, but most couples (especially men) skip over certain body parts and go straight for others. What a waste. Every part of our bodies is sensitive to touch. All of our nerves lead back to our spinal cord and then eventually to our brains, where they bundle and send stimulus messages to and fro, creating waves of sensation.
Touching can produce a powerful stimulating effect, and certain body parts are more sensitive than we often give them credit for.
Pay special attention to the ears, fingertips, stomach, neck, small of the back, hip bones, and even, yes, the feet. The average foot is home to hundreds of thousands of nerve clusters, and while it may take some experimentation, you might find that it's a powerhouse for stimulation.
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Kissing
There are millions of nerve sensors in the mouth, and even more located on the lips. As you're probably already aware, the lips themselves are a sexual organ, or at the very least a sensual one. When kissing your partner, take the opportunity to run your fingers through his hair, caress his face, and explore other parts within your reach.
Kissing is an important part of stimulation, but don't try to steamroll the process. Do it gently at first before becoming more playful, passionate, or thorough.
A few hints on what tactics do not make for a sensual kissing experience: slobbering on your partner, stabbing your tongue into your partner's mouth or wiggling it around like an eel, or biting either the bottom or top lip too hard.
Biting your partner's lip gently can be sexy, but if there's a possibility you're going to be leaving bruises, you're probably not doing it right, unless you know for a fact that's what your partner likes.
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Remember, kissing, like most sexual activities, isn't taught anywhere, and most people learn it through experience or intuition - and not everyone's experience and intuition are spot-on. If there's something you want that your partner isn't doing, tell him. He'll do it if he knows you like it.
More Touching
When things have gotten too steamy for a simple make-out session, don't overlook the importance of touching. Touching the lower abdomen, buttocks, inside of the thighs all have a powerful stimulation effect.
It's important to be exploratory and gentle, rather than hasty. If you're in a hurry to get to the finish line, doing it without intercourse is probably not the route to go, so don't rush the process.
Movies and television have used extensive creative license to make the process of rushing into sex appear passionate, but this kind of frenzy isn't always as effective in real life. Shows how much they know.
Mutual Masturbation
Most people achieve their first orgasm by themselves via masturbation, but far fewer engage in the activity with their partners once they've established a sexual relationship. Try experimenting with different tactics, such as beginning by touching yourself and then encouraging your partner to "finish up."
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Women know their bodies, and we know what we like when we do it ourselves, so communicating your desires to your partner is a crucial component of achieving an orgasm sans penetration.
While the logistics of mutual masturbation - not to mention the distraction - can sometimes be tricky to work out, with a little practice and communication, you'll be surprised how satisfying manual stimulation can be.
Oral Stimulation
Finally, the Holy Grail of orgasm without intercourse: oral sex. The tongue plays a lead role here, but don't forget the importance of communicating what feels good to your partner. Don't be shy about saying what you like and what you don't - this failure to communicate can lead to a frustrating experience in the bedroom.
The clitoris is an exceptionally sensitive organ, and its stimulation can sometimes be too much, so you might need to indicate to your partner that he needs to slow down or explore other parts of your body for a brief break. On the other hand, oral sex can also be a great way to achieve multiple orgasms, although not everyone is biologically capable of doing so.
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When done properly, oral sex can easily supplant penetration, and neither you nor your partner will feel that you missed out on anything. Remember to reciprocate your partner's good deed, and you'll both fall asleep happy.
