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Our children need to be a part of our life, not our whole life. We need to role-model for them what it looks like to take personal responsibility for filling ourselves up. We need to show them what it looks like to take responsibility for making ourselves happy, rather than rely on them for our happiness. Your children want to know that they are important to you, but not so important that your well-being is dependent upon them. You might want to explore the following questions to see if you may be using your children addictively:
Do you have a solid spiritual practice that fills you with a sense of peace and gives meaning to your life?
Are you expressing your particular talents in a way that feels meaningful and productive to you and gives you a sense of fulfillment?
Do you have fulfilling emotional connections with other adults - a partner, other family members or friends? If you answered "yes" to these, then you are probably not using your children addictively.
Do you feel bored and useless when your children are not around? Is it your children that give your life meaning?Is your sense of worth attached to your children's achievements? Do you tend to take it personally if one of your children has a problem?
