No one is perfect, and that fact becomes even more obvious when you become a parent. It's tough not to hold yourself up to traditional mom role models, like June Cleaver, but even June Cleaver wasn't that perfect. She just didn't have "experts" like Dr. Phil and Oprah telling her what she did wrong; unfortunately, moms today do. While expert resources can be helpful in offering advice, many moms find that they hold themselves to unrealistic ideals that others promote. When it comes to the day-to-day duties of parenting, in reality, all moms make many of the same mistakes.{relatedarticles}Who hasn't completely lost it and screamed at a child in frustration? Realizing you're not the only one can help ease guilt and help you understand that you haven't damaged your child permanently. Common mistakes that moms make and may not even think about include demonstrating appropriate problem solving. We all blow up sometimes, and we've all bottled up that potential demonstration of anger by preventing ourselves from cursing in traffic, insulting someone or holding our breath and not yelling.
A better way to show your child how to manage anger is to put into practice what you preach - using your words, not yelling, etc. Talk yourself out of the anger by saying something like, "I really want to yell at that other driver who cut me off, but that would be silly so I'm just going to take a deep breath and calm down." Most moms encourage their kids to express gratitude for gifts or when someone does something nice for them, but many moms don't expect that same gratitude from their kids.{relatedarticles}Your partner can help model that behavior by offering thanks after you make a special meal or do something helpful for the family. Your child doesn't have to thank you after every single thing you do, but asking for thanks once in awhile lets her know that her appreciation is important to you. Here's a very non-Cleaver problem of today's families: technology getting in the way of family time. Sure, you put the kibosh on TV time, but do you get completely unplugged? Even if the TV is off, many moms and dads are online, checking e-mail, sending texts on their phones or checking voice mail. Make at least a few minutes a day electronics-free, so that you can really tune into your kids.
