Child discipline and logical consequences demand you learn to think before you act. You take the time you need. You get your feelings under control. You come up with a simple plan. You execute that plan.
When kids are careless, rage can explode and it can feel great. Later shame sets in. Your kids yell back, make excuses, and sometimes blame you for their mistakes. This is not the family life you hoped for.
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If These Were Your Children, How Would You Deliver Logical Consequences?
All winter you've squirreled away coins, dollars, and gift money to buy a bike for Amy. She squealed with joy as she first rode it through the neighborhood. You smiled and thought, "It's the perfect birthday.
1. One rainy morning two weeks later you look out the front room window. There it is, spattered with mud lying in the driveway. Your gut tightens. You march down the hallway to Amy's bedroom. Will you yank her out of bed? Or will you get yourself under control?
2. Jake's teacher called to say he forgot his homework for the ninth time this month. She wonders if he really does his homework. You assure her that he does. She tells you, "I'll have to lower his grades." You've lectured Jake to put his homework in his backpack. Jake would rather watch TV than hear your voice. You know he doesn't listen. What to do?
3. Jessica lost her lunch money again. She calls you from the principal's office, "Mom, I lost my lunch money. Buy me a hamburger and a shake."
You're at work. You don't want the principal to think you're heartless. You don't want your boss upset by your leaving another important meeting for Jessica again. You feel trapped. What to do?
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A big part of parenting is teaching kids to be responsible. When kids treat gifts, homework, and money carelessly, some parents fume inside and feel like failures.
Many parents replace broken toys with new toys, do their kids' homework, and rush to solve their kids' problems. These parents prevent their children from pain. These children fail to experience the logical consequences of their careless actions. They grow into careless adults. They know others will take care of them.
As a parent, you have discipline choices. Consider the logical consequences below:
1. When Amy leaves her bike out, don't talk, act. Wake her. Tell her to clean her bike and bring it inside. Don't react to her grumbles. Put a lock on her bike and decide how long to keep it locked. Tell Amy. Be firm.
2. Since Jake keeps losing his homework, tell him he must write (no photocopying) a second copy before TV. Decide how long he will redo his homework in this way. Tell Jake and be firm. 3. Since Jessica keeps losing lunch her money, tell her you won't bring her hamburgers or shakes. From now on she must make her own lunch. No rescuing. Be firm. No child has starved after missing a lunch.
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If you stay in control and act logically, your kids will trust your words. They'll suffer the consequences of their actions. They'll grow into responsible adults. You'll feel proud of them and of your parenting too.
Jean Tracy, MSS invites you to receive 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids when you sign up for her Free Newsletter at http://www.KidsDiscuss.com
Article Source: Parenting Article Library
