One of the worst scenarios during the holidays is to have lost a spouse and face being alone. As a widower I have firsthand experience with this topic. I now understand that I needed to experience such a loss to know how important the ability to love is to life. Not only did I lose my beloved partner, but I also lost my fourteen-year-old Schnauzer several months later, leaving me to celebrate the holidays alone in an empty house. In the months to follow I discovered my voice and created a casual luxury brand that represents my lifestyle, home and garden. {relatedarticles}I have an amazing life now, all rising from the ashes of grieving. Here's my wisdom and personal insight for those who are in search of divine inspiration to help cope this holiday season:

1.First and foremost, know that you are not alone and that there are people who love you and who want to help you, both in emotional support as well as daily chores. This is not a time to reject those individuals that come to help, lend a hand or offer a shoulder on which to cry. Family is great, but sometimes close friends can have a more powerful impact on our recovery. Don't feel guilty about this. For me, my friends are my extended family and they were able to support and help me in ways that my family could not.

2. Remind yourself that time not only heals the heart, but will also in time reveal the journey to follow. Accept that life will never be the same and allow yourself to embrace the wisdom that will come from change. Your new life will begin to emerge if you allow it to show up unannounced.

3. Don't make any big decisions: don't move, don't sell things, don't buy anything and certainly don't give anything away. Wait a year before you unravel your environment and change your surroundings. You have to find comfort in the environment you shared together before you can let it go.{relatedarticles}

4. People will try to comfort you in many ways. One of those ways may be to offer you aids to help you sleep or deaden the pain. For me, I chose to feel every bit of the pain that came my way because I believe that numbing the pain will prolong it and keep you from experiencing the depth of your emotions. The sooner you feel it and face it, you'll have the courage to accept it and the painful void becomes tolerable. This is what I chose for myself. If you, however, are someone who may need some help in this regard, get it from your physician or other qualified professional, not a friend or family member.

5. Don't be a martyr. What I mean by this is to let your family or close friends take care of you. If they offer, accept. And if they don't, ask for what you need. I did. If someone offers to make your bed and comb your hair, let them! You will forever remember these acts of kindness and who was there when you needed them the most. Same goes for anything you are traditionally responsible for at the holidays -- dinners, baking, presents. Some folks feel they should make the effort "for the sake of the family"-- no one needs the reminder about "what's different this year," and others may not be sure how to be involved. Instead, allow others to pick up these responsibilities while you focus on cherishing the time you spend with them.

6. There will be times you are going to want to cry, and it's perfectly OK to let it out. And then there are going to be times when you'll want to cry and it's not OK. You'll need to postpone it. That said, crying in front of people should not be something frowned upon. However, in a business situation your strategy should be this: Give yourself permission to cry later. Crying is a natural, organic part of the grieving process. If you don't allow yourself to cry, you're suppressing the release of emotion and pain from your body. Whether happy or sad, crying is a healthy and beneficial part of the experience of life.{relatedarticles}

7. Be grateful in spite of your loss. Thank the universe that you were brought together and that you shared a life, no matter how long or short it may have been. I believe that the energy one puts out into the world comes back to us. So don't waste precious time being angry at the world or at others. Gratitude helps us to heal faster.

8. You may again share a future holiday with someone special -- but don't be in a hurry for that. In time, you may find that you are ready for a new relationship. When you stop comparing your lost love to your new prospect, only then will you know you are ready. One other clue that your new relationship is a good one: You will be able to talk freely about your lost love. Your next true love will be different, but so will you. You will love again, and in time what was once painful will be empowering.

Remember this, my new friends: Where there is darkness there is hope and where there is hope there is a journey awaiting you. Know that you are not alone and that your profound love will forever be fuel for your new inner burning fire. Never, ever forget who you are, who you have loved and who you will become as a result of this experience. This will become the solid foundation on which to build your new life.{relatedarticles}

And a reminder that we have loved deeply and have/will do so again.

And there you have it.

Mar Jennings' inventive and original blueprint for design infuses Mother Nature's colors and textures throughout the home and garden. Mar creates resourceful designs for a casual luxury lifestyle. As featured in HGTV, QVC, the Today Show, NY Times and many other national media outlets. For more information visit www.marjennings.com.