Don't get stuck on the notion that he's "the one;" there are plenty of fish in the sea that are probably just right for you. Getting your heart broken a few times will force you to be more selective about who you let in, while allowing your mind to recognize the red flags as early warning signs not to continue in a bad relationship.
Even when we know it's wrong to get back with an ex, we do it anyway. Why? Sometimes we have to make our own mistakes in order to learn from them. As long as the relationship wasn't abusive in any way, it's okay to give yourself this permission. The point is to grow as a person, take what you can from the experience, and resolve not to walk the same path the next time.
The 5 Stages of Grief
The grieving process doesn't only apply to the death of a loved one. The 5 stages of grief can be used for breakups, too. Identifying where you stand with your grieving can shed some light on whether you're ready to take him back.
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- Denial - You are in a state of shock. You are trying to avoid the pain of this loss by refusing to accept that the relationship is over.
- Anger - Once the reality of it sets in, you feel like you have been treated unfairly and may lash out at him or others in your life.
- Bargaining - You or your former partner might make promises to change - that whatever caused the breakup won't happen again.
- Depression - The inner turmoil of the breakup, usually consisting of the inability to sleep, eat, or accomplish daily tasks.
- Acceptance - Moving on with your life and accepting the circumstances of the breakup, even making peace with your role in it.
